In this episode I talk about the lack of pants in the summer and how men are dicks.

This is episode s11e13(421) for Monday, July 9, 2018 and clocked in at 21 minutes, 45 seconds

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Warning: This is the stream of consciousness text behind the podcast. It may contain incomplete sentences, incorrect grammar, and other mistakes. JSYK


It summer time! Sum sum sum sum summer time! I love summer time. Mostly because people wear less clothes. And by people I mean women. I’m not being sexist, it’s true. Women wear the least amount of clothes when it’s hot hot hot in Topeka (or anywhere else for that matter). Specifically, the hot weather brings out the women in no pants! That’s right, the pants are gone! And by pants I mean jeans, shorts, skirts, dresses, etc. Not the girl on Twilight.

Everywhere I look, I see women who appear to be wearing just a shirt. Just a shirt that comes down to just below their butt cheeks. And from my point of view, it looks like that’s all they are wearing. And I like it. Not because I’m a dirty old man — because I am, but that’s not why I like it — I like it because it’s women without pants! It’s just bare legs and t-shirt. Everywhere I go. In shopping malls, stores, movies theaters … everywhere!

You don’t see guys doing that — well you do once in a while, but it’s always an overweight, extremely hairy, almost elderly white dude — and we try very hard not to stare or commit him to memory.


I’m not saying to disparage women — not at all — these are confident (which also means powerful) women dressing how they wish to dress. Or in this case half dress. And I’m a huge fan. I don’t make any rude comments or any comments — no cat calling — I just observe, without staring, and enjoy.

Thanks ladies. I respect you as a person as well. Actually, I may get to cohost on a feminist podcast soon. I’m excited for the opportunity. Am I a feminist? I don’t even know what that means. Women are people just like everyone else. They should be treated equally just like everyone else. That’s all I know.

But that reminds me of a phase I’ve heard dozens of times in the past to describe women.

“Why would you buy the cow if you can get the milk for free,” said someone (not me). It’s been used in TV shows since black and white days.

I get the meaning of it. If a women is having sex with a guy, why would he marry her. But it’s a horrible thing to say. Let’s break it down:

“Women are cows” (not me saying this, the phrase says this). That’s a horrible comparison, but that’s the least of our problems with this. 

“Get the milk for free” This is the main problem. It does several things. First, it implies that the only worth a woman has to a man is for sex and it implies the only reason to marry a woman is for sex. Second, it’s also telling us the only worth of a women to a man is for sex. 

Oh there is also the “buy the cow” part, which implies you own a women after marriage. And that the milk now belongs to you (aka sex). But also, if you own a cow you can sell the milk to other people, so does that mean the same for your wife? 

Let’s just say it’s a horrible phase, but it is important because it does depict how society sees women and marriage.

That’s not the only thing, let’s talk about bases. You know what I mean. First base, second base, third base? These are terms people used (and still use) to describe how close to sex they got. That’s because it’s a game with the goal being a home run (aka full on sex — or anal depending on your individual bases — your mileage may vary).

My entire life men have been horrible to women. Back in college I belong to a group of men who escorted women back to their dorms from campus. You know why they had this free service? Because men are dicks and attack women. It’s clearly known. I used to assist in Women’s self defense classes. Do you know that the techniques are shown so they learn how to defend themselves from abusive boyfriend or husband, not just someone in the wild. We tell women to always watch their drinks because some guy may drug them and rape them. Women are told to have their car keys in their hands when they are walking alone to scratch attackers with.

This is KNOWN to everyone, it’s not a secret. We tell ALL women (and girls) they are in danger all the time, but at the same time no one is telling men to not drug, attack, or rape women. I’m not saying ALL men are bad. Don’t assume all boys grow up to be dicks. The majority of men understand the equality of women and would NEVER attack them. But they need to be told ALL the time that many men are a danger to women.

And yes, I said MANY men. It’s actually not just a few bad apples. If it was, we wouldn’t need to teach women so much about saving themselves from being attacked or raped.

Oh and it’s worse than this. I was reading a post by @bbypandaface on Twitter. She’s a cosplayer. But yet she posts the following rules for men to follow at every Con:

Do not touch me without asking

Do not following me around like a lost puppy after finding me

Do not ask for a selfie and put that camera angled chin up

Do not complain how I didn’t answer you this one time on social media

Basically she has to tell men to back off all the time. Because men don’t get it. Just because she’s dressed in something sexy doesn’t give you the right to treat her like anything other than a normal person.

All of this shows that we don’t teach boy or men to be grown ass adults. They are all just children who think they are entitled to what a women has.

So let’s try to solve this another way. No more “boys will be boys” crap. Let us be better than the elderly leaders of our country. How are we going to do this? I have no forking idea. None at all. The best I can think of is to teach boys to respect women as equals from the start.

 But I could be wrong, because I have no idea what I’m talking about

I love that fact that being DRUNK or TIPSY is considered more social acceptable than being high — when they are essentially the same thing. Except being high on weed is 1000% less dangerous than alcohol. You don’t have to believe me, look it up.

— The Distracted Philosopher

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