But who am I really?
“Dear Mr. Vernon: We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong, but we think you’re crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us… In the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain…and an athlete…and a basket case…a princess …and a criminal…Does that answer your question?… Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club. ” – The Breakfast Club (1985) – Written by the brilliant John Hughes.
I used this quote because sometimes someone else had already said it better than I possibly could. I am a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal — and I have no problems with any of it. If you do, then I suggest you leave.
Here’s my story. I had been writing/publishing on BBS’s, the internet, and the web long before “blogging” was even a term and long before every idiot (including myself) could have their own domain — hell, I remember before the internet and before “the web”. I loved to write for the web, posting my thoughts, opinions and other creations for dozens of people to read.
But eventually everyone was able to blog. Everyone had their own domain. I no longer felt special. My drive to write for an anonymous audience left me. So I stopped altogether (“so I stopped”).
Time passed and I decided to start my very own weekly podcast in 2008. That was the ticket. Podcasts were not mainstream, so I felt a bit like a rebel again. But then podcasting became popular (the medium of podcasting, not my podcast) and I began to question why I was doing any of this.
Then it hit me (like a small rock). I had started to fall into the, “I care what other people think” mode of thinking. WTR (what the regis) was wrong with me? I mean OMFR (oh my fraking Regis)! What had come over me? Caring about what other people think?! How dare I!
So I stopped caring and started back up again (in 2011). This time as The Distracted Philosopher. And I intend to stay.
That was until about 2017 (I think) when I change the name of the show to “Distracted Euphoria”. Finally everything was ok again, but not really.
Then in 2018 I experienced an existential crisis of sanity and identity — and change it all again. Moving my domain to ProbeOfUranus.com and changing the podcast title to “Maybe It’s The Heroin Talking…”
Oh yes, one more thing. I like piña coladas.
(And gettin’ caught in the rain.)
But Wait … there’s More!
“My name, my real name. That is not the point.” – Doctor Who
My true name (at the moment) is Atlas Regis Sahanae Tripper Jackson, I go by Regis Jack (to keep it simple and because God told me to), and my secret identity is Professor Bonaparte (and now that I’ve told you I’m changing it to Cecil Blockchain). I write friction (which is fiction, but it tends to rub people the wrong way), write non-friction (which is really philosophical works backed by philosophy and science, but still tends to rub people the wrong way), produce a podcast known as <insert ever changing podcast name here> which should be called a prodcast because listening to it is like being prodded in a very uncomfortable and personal way), dress up in costumes (for charity, social events and when I’m bored), and generally am the cause of some sort of Chaos. I was born in the thrall of a wild afflatus some November eve, making me a Scorpio (yea me and Bram), which may explain why I’m described as Arrogant, Impulsive, Emotional, Unstable, Obscene(tm) and go under the tagline Writer, Podcaster, Whore ™. JSYK, this means I’m batshit insane (yea for me and Nikola) and it seems I don’t know when to shut up. I continue to push the boundaries around me under no influence from alcohol or drugs of any kind, but only because I can’t fathom the taste of any of them, not in a judgmental sort of way. My only ‘drug’ of choice is Meditation, so I can become one with the multiverse. My religion is Transcendentalism; and Civil Disobedience is at the top of my political agenda (yea me, Timothy, Henry, and George). I achieved a Bachelor of Science from Purdue University where I majored in The Rocky Horror Picture Show (I played Rocky, for obvious reasons). I’m fluent in less than 6 million forms of communications, three of which are American English and Klingon (although a lessor known dialect) and I’m known to be mediocre at math.
And Still Even More!
While very few people will look at me and think “Athlete”, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been involved in sports. I have. Just not traditional sports. Instead, I’ve spent my time (on and off) in martial arts. In high school I received a blue belt in Tae Kwon Do from the North American Tae Kwon Do Association. Later in life I earned my black belt in Sil Lum Kung Fu from the International Kung Fu Arnis Association. Eventually I mellowed out and trained in Tai Chi, Qigong, and meditation.
And don’t forget the professional side of me – although most people will not look twice at my credentials because I’m creative in my real life, it’s important to note there is a professional me. I earned a B.S. from Purdue University. I’ve been a technology professional for many years with specialities in Facilitation, Teaching, Architecture, Requirements, Application Design, and Process Improvement. In the past, all the way back into high school, I worked several jobs that were key to me. I worked in a small town video store (back in the days of the VHS/Beta wars), worked in movie theaters (single screen and multiplex), and worked in dispatch for mobile homes (while I created a system to replace me).
HOly Rusy Metal batman!
“Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.” – Terry Pratchett
“I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members” – Groucho Marx
“The two most common elements in the Universe are Hydrogen and Stupidity.” – Harlan Ellison
“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” – John Lennon
Walden by Henry David Thoreau
Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Bible (jk, tl;dr)